Dad, 56, died after suffering ‘flu-like symptoms’ – and sent 4 children heartbreaking letters from beyond the grave
Date: 2024-10-21A DAD-of-four died after mistaking his cancer for flu.
Mike Randell, 56, had been feeling “really tired” after what he thought was a run-of-the-mill bout of the seasonal illness.
But when his condition failed to improve, he went to his GP and discovered he had several masses on his bowel and liver.
On the day before he was due to retire, further tests revealed he had stage four bowel cancer.
Mike, from Hythe, Hampshire, died surrounded by his family on October 10, 2022.
His four children – Matthew, 33, Emily, 31, Luke, 30, and Sophie, 28 – then discovered he had written each of them a letter to read after he was gone.
In them, he described how proud he was of the people they had become, and that he had given Sophie’s boyfriend Ash Humphrey his blessing to propose.
After Mike’s “shock” death, his family want to raise awareness of the lesser-known symptoms of bowel cancer, and to fundraise for Cancer Research UK (CRUK).
Sophie, 28, a children’s nurse, said: “He had none of the traditional bowel cancer symptoms when he was diagnosed and only got checked after he struggled to get over a bout of flu in January 2018.
“He just couldn’t get back to how he was before and felt really tired.”
The three most common signs of bowel cancer are blood in your poo, changes in bowel habits (such as needing to go more often or looser stools), and stomach pain.
But other symptoms include unintentional weight loss, a lump in your tummy, feeling a lot more tired than usual, and breathlessness.
While it wasn’t obvious at first, Sophie said that after blood tests, scans and a biopsy, she knew in her heart what was to come.
“With my medical knowledge and after looking for support online, we knew what was coming and I was sure he was going to be told he had advanced cancer,” she said.
“It was so upsetting to have it confirmed that my dad, who was just 56 and due to retire the following day, had stage four bowel cancer.
“We explained to my brother Luke, who has Down’s syndrome, that there was something in dad’s tummy that wasn’t supposed to be there and that he was going to have some medicine that would try to get rid of it.”
Mike, who was “willing to try anything”, began chemotherapy, which helped to shrink the tumours.
He also had surgery to remove the cancer from his bowel, which led him to having a colostomy, or stoma.
You’ve blossomed into everything I could have wished for in a daughter
Mike
“He received more chemotherapy and further procedures to reverse the colostomy, remove some of his diseased liver and part of his lung, and in between all the treatments, my dad managed to have periods of time over those three years when he could live normally and even go away on holiday,” Sophie said.
“He always held onto the hope that the cancer would go away, but towards the end of 2021, he knew the time he had left with us was limited.
“In the last few weeks, he secretly wrote individual letters to each of us, saying how lovely we were and that he was proud of us, and he chose a gift for us so that we always had a part of him with us.
“He decided to spend his final days at home and we all stayed there so we could be with him when the time came.
“He gave both my sister and me a ring which we wear every day and my brothers received a watch.
“It was so emotional reading the letters he gave to us.
“He thanked us for everything we’d done for him and said how proud he was of us and the jobs we do.
“He encouraged us to live life to the fullest and in my letter, he explained that my partner Ash had gone to see him to ask for my hand in marriage and that he had given him permission to propose.
“It’s so important to me and something I really treasure.”
One of Mike’s letters said: “You’ve blossomed into everything I could have wished for in a daughter.”
Another read: “As a nurse, you’ve always had that caring side.”
Exactly two years after Mike died, Ash got gown on one knee at the Trevi Fountain in Rome, Italy.
‘BITTERSWEET’
But alongside the wedding planning, Sophie, her siblings and her mum Jane, 62, are still struggling to come to terms with the fact that Mike won’t be there.
“My dad would be really happy to know I’m engaged and it means a lot to have his blessing,” Sophie said.
“He told me in his letter that even though it will be a bittersweet moment, to remember that it’s our day, to be positive and that he’d be right there with me, just not in body.
“Together, we always hoped that there would be a new treatment that might make dad’s cancer go away so he could share moments like this, but it just didn’t happen for him.
“Now we’re determined to take a stand against the disease and share our story to help accelerate life-saving research and give other people the chance to live longer.”
What are the red flag warning signs of bowel cancer?
IT'S the fourth most common cancer in the UK, the second deadliest - yet bowel cancer can be cured, if you catch it early enough.
While screening is one way of ensuring early diagnosis, there are things everyone can do to reduce their risk of the deadly disease.
Being aware of the signs and symptoms of bowel cancer, spotting any changes and checking with your GP can prove a life-saver.
If you notice any of the signs, don’t be embarrassed and don’t ignore them. Doctors are used to seeing lots of patients with bowel problems.
The five red-flag symptoms of bowel cancer include:
- Bleeding from the back passage, or blood in your poo
- A change in your normal toilet habits – going more frequently for example
- Pain or a lump in your tummy
- Extreme tiredness
- Losing weight
Tumours in the bowel typically bleed, which can cause a shortage of red blood cells, known as anaemia. It can cause tiredness and sometimes breathlessness.
In some cases bowel cancer can block the bowel, this is known as a bowel obstruction.
Other signs include:
- Gripping pains in the abdomen
- Feeling bloated
- Constipation and being unable to pass wind
- Being sick
- Feeling like you need to strain – like doing a number two – but after you’ve been to the loo
While these are all signs to watch out for, experts warn the most serious is noticing blood in your stools.
But, they warn it can prove tricky for doctors to diagnose the disease, because in most cases these symptoms will be a sign of a less serious disease.
She added: “Losing dad has been so hard, especially on Luke.
“Just before he died, dad gave him a memory box including old pictures of them both, his watch and his old passport.
“He’s doing better now but mentions dad all the time so we talk about him to keep in our memory.
“As we reach the two-year anniversary of losing him, it’s really important to us that we show that cancer can affect anyone’s life, at any time, so we really have no choice other than to unite against it and help support the scientists to keep making new discoveries.”
The family are backing CRUK’s Stand Up to Cancer campaign, which helps to develop new tests and treatments that could help save the lives of more people diagnosed with the disease.  .
“Dad was often doing a charity challenge to support other people and this was close to his heart,” Sophie said.
“He was always keen for people to donate towards research after his death to find out more about the disease.
“He’d be proud to help others diagnosed with this disease.
“Every action, big or small, could make a difference.”
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