Hapless Reeves’ Budget will hurt the working man, reward idleness and wreck the economy for the next 5 years
Date: 2024-10-30WELL, that’s the economy wrecked for the next five years, then. Cheers, Ms Reeves. Excellent work.
It almost eclipses your previous achievement of being 26th best at chess in Lewisham. Or whatever it was you used to brag about.
Reeves delivered a Budget which will not only hurt the working man, it will hurt in particular the aspirational, striving, hard-working men and women[/caption]But it is not just the employers who are taking a hit. The truth is this was a Budget which attacks any form of aspiration.
Anybody who is trying to better themselves and make improvements to their lives. They are the sort of people Labour hate.
Unfortunately, they are also the sort of people who keep this benighted country afloat.
So, imagine you’re living in social housing and you fancy taking advantage of the Right to Buy scheme so that you can get your feet on the property ladder.
Well, Reeves is making it more difficult to buy your home at a decent price.
Or imagine you’re sick of how useless the local schools are. And you scrimp and save every penny to send your kid to a private school. Well, Rach has got a surprise in store for you, too.
Out of spite she has removed business rate relief for private schools. And in the new year plans to whack a load of VAT on them.
So if your choice of private school hasn’t actually gone bankrupt by then, you’ll have to pay much higher charges.
You know, I’ve dredged through the Budget looking for stuff that might actually benefit the country. Here’s my list:
- She’s increased the minimum wage to £12.21.
- . . . er . . . that’s it.
This was the Budget of a failing government rewarding failure and punishing hard work and innovation.
In short, it was everything we might have expected from the hapless Chancellor. We will be paying the cost for years.
SOFTEN UGLIER TRUTHS
I THINK it would be better if a veil of silence was gently draped over Prof Daniel Hamermesh.
And especially his latest research.
After careful analysis he has found that the ugliest people in the UK are the Welsh and Scots.
As I recently spent a long weekend in Fife and many years ago lived, briefly, in Bridgend, I can see no grounds whatsoever upon which to dispute these findings.
But this sort of research – Hamermesh calls it Pulchronomics – will only cause bitter resentment and unrest within the Celtic fringes.
Better to stick to the modern line. We are all very beautiful in our own way. Or that for Hamish and Rhiannon perhaps the radiance comes from within.
Something like that.
TIME TO BIN THE ADVICE
A BUNCH of councils are offering incredibly useful advice on how to bring up your kids not to be racist.
Thank you, thank you, Leicestershire and Southampton (among others).
You might have thought that simply telling your offspring not to judge a person by the colour of their skin would be sufficient. And that in any case it is a job for the parents rather than the pencil-necked council culture czars.
But what does this advice include?
They suggest that when you play Monopoly with white children, give them more money and less time in jail than they deserve.
This will show them that they are privileged, white oppressors. God help us all.
You obsessive, witless, fascistic apes.
Just empty the bloody bins on time, mend the potholes – and shut up.
EASIER ON THE ELITE
YOU wouldn’t want to meet Labour MP Mike Amesbury on a dark night, would you?
Not after he has had a few, at least.
He punched a bloke to the ground. Then continued punching him while he was lying there. Then returned to crow about the beating he’d doled out.
OK, he’s been suspended from the Labour Party. But why haven’t the police charged him?
Didn’t take them long to bang up those rioters who had in many cases only said something, did it?
And do you remember the horrible Labour councillor Ricky Jones?
He was the one who called for right-wing protesters to “have their throats cut†in August.
Why is he still at large? His court case is due in January?
Why does it take so long to bring justice to those in the ruling elite?
THE BBC news programmes are getting very worried that Donald Trump might win the US Presidential election.
Turn on Newsnight and you can see Victoria Derbyshire seething with fury. And so we are treated to every gaffe made by the Trump campaign team.
Victoria turns to an expert and asks something like: “Please tell me that this means Trump is absolutely done for?â€
Fraid not, Beeb. Fraid not, David Lammy. Fraid not, Sir Keir.
COMPO TO UK?
I WONDER if Barbados should pay the UK compensation rather than the other way around?
Slavery is a terrible thing. And it is to our credit that we led the way in trying to end it.
The practice continues, of course, in Africa, Asia and beyond.
But however bad slavery was – and it WAS – the people of Barbados are far better off today than they would have been if their ancestors had stayed in Africa.
Much, much, higher standard of living. Much longer life expectancy.
It’s OK, Barbados – you can pay by instalments. No rush.
Why’ve I been funding these?
A PALLIATIVE care nurse has been revealing people’s death-bed regrets.
The things people near the end of life say they wished they had done.
A lot of people regret working too hard. Some regret not spending more time with their families.
My big regret would have been giving too much money to charity.
I mean, I haven’t given that much. But if you add it up over the course of a lifetime it is quite a few bob. It’s mostly gone to bloody donkeys, who never say thank you.
Money which I could have spent buying myself alcohol, cheese, Raisin & Biscuit Yorkies, pies, Heinz Toast Toppers, Cadbury Crunchie ice creams, Marks & Spencer “Best Ever†prawn cocktails and sausages.
...I could’ve been buying these
