It’s crunch time. You've just googled the phrases “last minute costume,” “low effort costume,” and “the laziest possible Halloween costume,” and found your way to me.
I get it. You don’t have the time, energy, budget, or willpower to execute a “good” Halloween costume. But is it not good to save your effort and hard-earned money by opting for a Halloween costume that is so bad, it’s actually good?
Here are 30 Halloween “costume” ideas that are so lazy they just might be brilliant—and even if they aren't, they can be pulled together in a matter of minutes. (Disclaimer: I can’t be held responsible for all the eye rolls these might earn you.)
Liam, the teen who just woke up. All you need is a blanket, some ruffled hair, and a whole lot of angst.
Error 404: Costume not found. Write those words out on a sheet of paper to pin on your shirt, or even take a marker to a white tee for the cause. Everyone loves internet jokes!
Iron Man: Wear sign or a name tag that reads “Fe” (the periodic symbol for iron). This is very funny.
A conflicted sports fan: Don a bunch of competing team logos. I’m taking one friend’s Red Sox hat, and another friend’s Yankees shirt, and I’m going to try not to get beat up.
A hip-pea: Not a tie-dye hippie. Wear all green, like a pea. Make a bunch of hip references all night, e.g. “So...this election is crazy, right?”
Caught red-handed: Cover your palms in red paint, makeup, or marker (as long as the product says it’s safe to go on your skin). Whenever someone points it out, throw your hands up and scream, “I didn’t do it!”
Donald Trump's moral compass: Great option when you don’t want to show up to the party.
A slutty mummy: Wrap yourself in toilet paper, but only partially. You can makes the exposed bits look desiccated if you want, but that seems like it would take effort.
WFH: Wear a professional top and pajama bottoms. Really sell it by carrying around your laptop and talking about how weird your wifi has been lately.
A frazzled plant parent: Look disheveled, carry around your houseplant like a baby, and then panic when you misplace it.
Chip on your shoulder: Place a potato chip on your shoulder. This one works best with salt and vinegar chips, because salt and vinegar is the best chip flavor.
Undercover ______: The key to being undercover is blending in. You could be a health inspector, a detective, or a poet, but you don't want to look like a health inspector, a detective, or a poet. Because you're undercover.
Identity thief: Wear a name tag with someone else’s name.
Spice girl: Carry around some cinnamon. Or paprika. Or, if you’re feeling really fancy, a spice blend.
Pig in a blanket: Identify yourself as a pig (wear pink, or tie a paper snout to your face, or just say "I'm a pig!") and wrap yourself in a blanket.
When life gives you lemons: Wear a sign that says “life” and hand out lemons.
Blessing in disguise: The rule of thumb with all of these ideas is that a good disguise can take any form. To put in a little effort, wear a sign that says “blessing” and then wear a fake mustache.
A procrastinator: Done!
A werewolf: There isn’t a full moon this Halloween, so you're good to go.
Any one of Jim’s costumes from The Office.
Damian from Mean Girls: Tug that sweatshirt hood over your head and practice saying “She doesn’t even go here.”
A cool tourist: Wear your sneakers, take some pictures, and act like a local.
A thief: Oh, do you think a thief has to have a certain “look?” Open your eyes. If you really want to commit to the bit, snag some of your kid’s candy for show.
Post-therapy session: Wet your eyes and carry around a box of tissues. If you’re really committed, actually schedule therapy for immediately before your party.
An Olympic athlete: But the Olympics were decades ago and you've let yourself go. You can wear a medal if you have one, or just say the real honor was qualifying.
An international pop star determined to remember what it’s like to be normal again: What if you were just some normal loser at a lame Halloween party? Sounds so carefree.
A superhero’s alter-ego: But you're actually dedicated to keeping your identity a secret. (Hope no supervillains crash the party.)
A puppet who has been given a chance to be a real, normal human being and is not going to risk messing it up for anything: You don't want that blue fairy to go back on your wish.
Jolene, from the song, “Jolene”: If you don’t have red hair, you can say that you’re hiding from a vengeful Dolly Parton.
Your ex-: Wear a trash bag and attach assorted pieces of garbage. Because your ex- is trash, am I right?
