The 5 most absurd conspiracy theories of the 2024 US election

Not all that long ago, taking the Mickey out of conspiracy theories used to be all the rage. It used to be fun. The world couldn’t get enough guffawing about Bigfoot, celebrity clones and literal interpretations of former goalkeepers telling Terry Wogan that the Royal Family are reptiles.

Increasingly, however, alternative theories around prominent news and political events are starting to seem all too plausible. Perhaps, in part, that’s due to the ‘post-truth’ world of social media, misinformation and disinformation.

But a good deal of it’s down to the world being just a little bit insane right now. And a not insignificant number of these seemingly far-fetched plots turning out to be worryingly true.

If you disregard the association that comes with the term and get literal, ‘conspiracy theories’ are just theories that feature – you’ve got it – conspiracy.

And who can honestly say they don’t believe that powerful people plot to enact events and outcomes that they’d really rather keep secret from us nosy and annoying proles…?

So as theory and truth become harder to tell apart, it’s always heartening to see the odd quite daft idea spring up and leak into public consciousness. As something of an amusing palate cleanser. 

These are our five favourite mad conspiracy theories of the 2024 US election so far…

Joe Biden is actually dead

This idea has it that sitting Commander-in-Chief Joe Biden is no more. He has ceased to be. He’s expired and gone to meet his maker. He is an ex-president.

Proponents of the claim offer up the premise that the man died before taking office in January 2021 and that a body double or lookalike is currently serving as POTUS. Those into the theory cite alleged discrepancies in the man’s appearance and behaviour. Ones that cannot be explained by him just being an old codger who’s getting even older.

Similar theories often emerge during times of political polarisation, sometimes furthering distrust in leadership (if that’s even possible at this point). The biggest issue with this conspiracy is that it’d be a very odd move indeed to replace a dead man with a man who appears to be dead most of the time anyway.

Tim Walz changed the flag of Minnesota to resemble Somalia’s

Minnesota’s recent-ish decision to change their somewhat outdated old flag to a new one wasn’t one that bothered too many people outside of The Gopher State. Not until Kamala Harris picked Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate, anyway.

Since then, everything the grandfatherly old chap has ever done has come under the microscope. Although not his decision, he was in charge of the state when they recently redesigned their flag. 

It’s now two shades of blue and features an eight-pointed star. According to Fox News – and plenty of folk after broadcast – it was intended to replicate the flag of the largely Muslim East African nation of Somalia. 

Israel made Biden step down

Mentioning Israel in many contexts opens up shelves of Pandora’s Boxes and crates of cans of worms. In the realm of conspiracy theories, it’s even more fraught with danger and – to some degree – fairly accurate accusations of anti-Semetism.

Israel and the US are clearly old pals. History bears that out. Things are getting a little fraught between the two at the moment, though. Israel’s aggressive military action in the Middle East is getting so enthusiastic of late that even America, a nation propped up by arms deals, foreign wars and its military-industrial complex, is wincing a little.

However much influence Israel may have on the world stage, it’s something of a stretch to suggest that Benjamin Netanyahu and Mossad are able to force an American president to step down as some sort of punishment whip crack. Especially given that most of this current president’s skeletons are hidden in a cupboard marked ‘Ukraine’ (but that’s a whole other conspiracy…).

Powerful Trump supporters are slowing economic recovery to harm Democrats

Trump supporters in lofty positions with real financial clout are deliberately slowing economic recovery in order to to harm Democratic re-election chances. That’s a conspiracy theory offered up by some Democrats who are looking for reasons to explain Trump’s popularity and the relatively poor state of the current American economy.

Officials within the Federal Reserve and folk in key economic roles are, apparently, sabotaging growth to create unfavourable conditions ahead of elections. Proponents link rising inflation and unemployment to decisions made by individuals aligned with Trump’s agenda, suggesting that they prioritise political gain over public welfare.

Economic fluctuations can – possibly – be manipulated by hand, but tend to be driven by so many factors that they’re all but impossible to control with any real accuracy.

Electronic voting machines are programmed to change votes

The conspiracy theory that electronic voting machines are programmed to change votes suggests that these machines can manipulate election outcomes by altering the recorded votes of voters.

Proponents of this particular theory argue that sophisticated hacking or pre-programmed settings allow for the tampering of results, often citing instances where machines malfunctioned or displayed incorrect totals.

Actually, this one’s not all that absurd, is it…? Not if you think about it. What’s it really saying? ‘Technology can be hacked.’ And it’s not as if there aren’t a good few people with vested interests who would quite like to manipulate the outcome of this election.

Whoever would be behind it, foreign or domestic, Democrat or Republican, the idea that US elections are somehow ringfenced from corruption is actually quite ludicrous, when you think about it. The same goes for any election, anywhere in the world. Isn’t it somewhat xenophobic to assume that only foreign elections can be fixed or experience some level of illegal ballot rigging?

Hang on, sorry, this was supposed to be light-hearted, wasn’t it…?

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